Surviving Cancer

My last update was a huge drag. At first, I was just extremely heartbroken over the idea of having to sell our house. This house is everything I prayed for. It has been a place for us to plant some roots. Literally and figuratively, because I did actually plant A LOT of plants and flowers in the 3.5 years we have called it home. But more on that later. In the moment, I was being selfish because I didn’t want to give up our home. I am afraid of what it will do to our family. We are all so very fragile already; uprooting and moving sounds like a major overload.

I have been trying to research and do anything and everything possible to give us more time here. I know we have to give it up, so I have really just been leaning into my faith. I am trusting that God has everything worked out. It’s been a bit of a struggle to remain trusting and faithful when we are so exhuasted of living in survival mode.

I walk my yard a handful of times every day. I have to check my flowers and plants. Deadhead. Check for pests or problems. Maintaining my garden has become my absolute passion. I can get lost in my backyard, and it’s only half an acre. I see a weed; I pull the weed. I’m kind of obsessed.

Ok, so I was in my backyard yesterday, as I often am found there. I was lost in a twenty-minute moment as I watched and snapped a zillion pictures of a visiting Monarch butterfly. I followed close behind as she flew from flower to flower. I was lost in her beauty and grace. Butterflies bring so much joy to my day. She eventually got swept away by a wind gust. Not long after she disappeared, she suddenly reappeared and proceeded to fly the perimeter of my yard. I watched in amazement and just felt that it was a divine moment, created just for me.

Today, even in the sweltering heat, I walked my yard. I cleaned my little plastic swimming pool that I have set up for use as a bird bath. My squirrels love it too! I had to go into my garage for something, and upon coming back out, I saw a butterfly land on one of my flowers. I dropped everything and slow-motion ran over to the garden with my phone in hand, ready to snap photos. As I stood there, again in amazement, I was hypnotized by her beauty.

I watched her fly from flower to flower, briefly landing before flitting off again. As I watched her disappear over a fence, I stood there, still lost in the moment. Before I was able to move, I watched as her delicate, yellow wings flapped back over the fence. I literally could not move. All I could do was stand there and watch. She fluttered around, and as I watched, she flew the perimeter of my backyard perfectly, like there was some kind of track. In that very moment, I knew that God sent those two butterflies. They circled my property as if it were God sending down His peace. His protection. His blessing. I felt the arms of my Father being wrapped around my home as if to say, “I got this. No need to worry.” I felt the prayers of all my supporters wash over me in that moment.

Two different days. Two different flowers. Two different butterflies. One message.

Whatever the outcome of this new situation my husband and I find ourselves in, I know we will be ok. I trust in the Lord and His plan.

I hope my story can inspire others to take some quiet time wherever you are most at peace. If you watch, wait, and listen, you may just receive a message from heaven that is meant for you.