Surviving Cancer

I am taking a break from story telling to give a little update on what I currently have going on.

Today I had an echocardiogram to check on my heart and make sure that it can withstand chemo treatments.

Tomorrow, I start chemo. I have to arrive by 8 am so they can flush my port and make sure it’s ready to go for the chemo infusion. I will also be meeting with my oncologist again, to go what, I’m not exactly sure. I will go through a little chemo education. During this time, I will learn about side effects I may or may not experience, medications that I will have at my disposal to combat those side effects, and when to head to the doctor or ER if I’m experiencing anything serious.

Around 10:30 I will start my chemo infusion. They will give this to me through the port that I got surgically placed on my right upper chest area. My oncologist prescribed a numbing cream that I will put on the port 30 minutes before they will start using it. It’s still very painful, so I’m really not looking forward to having things being shoved into it (and by things, I mean needles.) The infusion will take approximately 3 hours.

I hate the unknown, and right now, the majority of tomorrow is unknown. I know the schedule, but I don’t know what to expect or how I will react, and that is what really freaks me out. I hate admitting it but I am so afraid. I’m afraid of being in more pain. I’m afraid of feeling sick, or worse, getting sick. I’m afraid that I will lose myself in this process. I’m afraid I will be too tired or sick for my kids. I’m afraid I’ll be too tired and crabby for my husband.

I. Am. So. Afraid.

But, I know that the sooner I get this started, the sooner it will be over. Unfortunately, the way schedules worked out, I will going to this appointment alone.

Prayers are welcome and appreciated.