Surviving Cancer

For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord,” plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

When I wanted to get pregnant again when Audyn was just 6 months old, I thought I was greedy and foolish. I have this perfect child, that I created, barely a half a year old, and here I was, wanting a second child. I believe now, that God was preparing me and my life for this battle. The Lord knew the plans I had for my life, and he graciously took that into consideration when planning out my life events. Having children, a family of my own, was by far the most important thing to me. It was what I wanted most for myself, more than anything else, was to have and bear my own, biological children. I will be forever grateful to Him for allowing me to carry and birth, my two absolutely perfect children before being diagnosed with cancer.

Having breast cancer doesn’t automatically mean I can never have another child, but through the processes of treatment, it greatly decreases my chances of being able to have more children of my own. Due to the harshness of the chemotherapy drugs and the possibility that I will need to be on hormone blockers for many years following chemotherapy, Josh and I were given the option to pursue fertility treatments. This would have delayed the start of chemotherapy, put me through more procedures, and would have costed us a heck of a lot more money, that we don’t have. After thinking about our options for weeks, Josh and I decided together that we would not be doing any retrieving or freezing of my eggs, or embryos.

This was not a decision we took lightly. We literally just had our second child, three months prior. We weren’t even thinking about the possibility of having more children at the time. We figured, when we were ready, we’d cross that bridge, but now, we were facing the idea of never even having the option to come to that bridge. With my cancer diagnosis, this decision was forced upon us long before we were ready to make it. If, by the grace of God, some of my eggs are spared, we may have the opportunity to have more of our own children. If this is not what God has planned for us, we decided we are more than content with our two perfect, and beautiful children. We also mutually agreed that we are open to adoption if we felt compelled to have more children, but are unable to do so after cancer treatment.