Surviving Cancer

I wasn’t far into the process of quitting pumping where I noticed a lump. Now, for moms out there who have breastfed, know that lumps can be a normal, yet not so pleasant side effect of breast feeding. Clogged ducts, engorgement, and even worse, mastitis; these are all too familiar to most breast feeding moms. I was no stranger to these side effects, so I dismissed the lump as being a clogged duct and figured it would unclog itself and reabsorb into my body now that I was done pumping.

Fast forward a couple weeks, I notice that the lump had not, in fact, disappeared. I brought my concerns up to my husband, Josh. Even when talking to him, weeks after, I was convinced it was left overs from breast feeding and again, dismissed it and made the decision, with Josh, that I would get it checked if it hadn’t gone away in the next few days. After a few days, and no change, I asked Josh if I should hold off on getting it checked until October. Come October I would have been eligible to get health insurance through my job; I was currently uninsured. Thankfully, he knew, even if it turned out to be nothing, it should be checked now, and not put off. Thank goodness for him.

It was at this same time, I was in the process of starting a new job. I was excited, yet, nervous. I really felt like it was a job that I would excel at, and I was excited for this new opportunity. The day before leaving to the lake for the 4th of July, I was seen at a clinic, and by a doctor that were new to me. I didn’t really care who I saw, I just wanted it “taken care of” before starting my new job. The doctor I saw could only confirm that there was, in fact, a lump. I was given a referral to have an ultrasound done on the area.

My new boss was very understanding when I called her up and said that, on my first day of work, I would be late. On July 8th, I went to the Edith Sanford Breast clinic to have an ultrasound done. After pictures were taken of the area, a radiologist reviewed the images. He came in and confidently told me he was fairly certain that what I had, was a fibroadenoma, or in other words, a noncancerous collection of tissue. I was calm through the entire thing, and he still felt the need to reassure me that he did not think this was cancer, and that it was in the single digits percent that it could be cancer, but wanted to do a biopsy to confirm. I took those odds, and confidently left the clinic.

The following week, I missed another half day of work at my new job to have a biopsy done. The doctor took six samples of my mass to be sent to the lab for analysis. Again, I left the clinic with confidence, thinking that this was nothing. Other than being mentioned by the radiologist, the word cancer, or the thought that, this lump I have could be cancer, never even crossed my mind.

I honestly thought it would be days before I heard anything, and again, I was not overly anxious or nervous because I was under the impression that this was nothing. I went to work the following day, July 18th, like normal, and was having a good day settling into my new role. It was around 11 in the morning when I received a phone call from the clinic. I was in between tasks so I was able to take the call. My boss was gone that day, so I went into her office, not because I thought I needed privacy but because I didn’t want to disturb the other workers.

It was the original doctor that I initially saw. She asked if I had a minute to talk, I said yes without hesitation, thinking, okay tell me it’s nothing so I can get on with my life. She said the pathology results were back from my biopsy, and it confirmed the presence of cancer. I was in absolute and utter shock. I immediately broke out in tears. I managed to get a few words out in between sobs. I honestly cannot remember much else from that conversation. My mind was frozen, thinking everything and nothing all at the same time.

I was 28. How could I have breast cancer?