Surviving Cancer

I have recently been diving deeper into my faith. It’s been a slow process back to a life with Christ. And really, I don’t feel like saying “back” actually applies because I looked to God very minimally growing up (sad, I know). Despite having gone to Sunday school and having been confirmed growing up, I had no relationship with Him. I didn’t know what it really meant to be a Christian. Sure, I went to church, I had Bibles, I read Bible versus, I believed in God. But I didn’t know Him.

I WANT to know HIM! I am ready to really get to know Him. After breast cancer I was mad. I was too mad to go to church or even pray. My minimal knowledge of Him told me that IF there is a God, then He let this happen to me. I just kept putting off returning to church and telling myself I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to go worship a God that let me get cancer. I really wish I knew then, what I know now. My journey back to Christ, like I mentioned, has been slow. With the little knowledge I have already gained by living a more Christ centered life, I realized that I never should have stopped worshipping Him. The thing is, even though I remained distant, He was still working in my life. I just couldn’t see it at the time.

My first big step towards knowing Christ was this past Spring. I signed up for a women’s Bible study. I was very unsure of what to expect, which gave me anxiety, but I did it and loved every second of it. Except the having homework part, because I am the world’s best procrastinator. The study was the book of James and was probably the best book to start with in my opinion. The Lord knew I would need a slow, simple introduction to His Word, and so the book of James it was.

I believe God is using my cancer journey to bring me back to Him. In the moment, I saw things for what they were. I believed in coincidences. Now, I realize that specific situations, memories, hardships, gut feelings, and coincidences from my breast cancer journey were all God working and intervening in my life. Now, I look forward to seeing what those “God winks” will look like in the days ahead.