Surviving Cancer

I felt really good going into chemo today. I felt like there was no way my numbers could not be good. I did another two days of steroid shots after last weeks chemo, I feel healthy, and I was confident I wouldn’t have any issues. Well, I was a bit over confident apparently. My numbers came back right before I met with my oncologist. They were not so good. Not the worst I have had but definitely not where they need to be. I was feeling disappointed that I likely would not be able to have chemo today.

My doctor came in and said we could do one of two things. Skip chemo today, and wait a week for my numbers to, hopefully, increase, or, go ahead with chemo today and have two additional days of steroid shots. I, eagerly, went for the latter, even though I likely have a tough week ahead of me. Two steroid shots was tolerable. I had body pain and aches, but it wasn’t the worst I have experienced. I am a bit worried about receiving four, consecutive injections of steroids and what that will do to my, already fatigued and achy body. Going in for the injections is definitely a pain, especially over the weekend, but if having four steroid injections instead of two will keep my chemo treatments on track, I am all for it.

For real though, in my mind, there was no question. If I am given the option to go ahead with chemo and stay on track, I’m going to do it. Whatever it takes. I will endure the aches and pains, the fatigue, and the crappy days, so that I can power through these treatments to the finish line. I really hope the extra steroid shots will give my body the boost it needs to increase my numbers for next week so I can continue on. For those of you wondering, my ANC was 899. Quite a bit lower than my doctor likes, but because I am feeling healthy and not experiencing too many bad side effects, he was ok with letting me, “power through.” I am so thankful for that.

On that note, I have to say I am very thankful for my oncologist. He is laid back and easy to talk to. He gets me. The nurses that work in the infusion center are also angels on earth. It definetely would not be an easy job, and they go to work each day with a smile on their face, because they know, the patients they are working with need THAT smile. I have come to favor certain nurses over others. Their smile, and their demeanor, is EVERYTHING to me. Sometimes, I forget that I’m taking time out of my day to poison by body and it actually feels like a little mini vacation. I get to sit in a heated massage chair, get covered up with as many warm blankets as I want, get waited on and offered snacks and drinks, watch TV or movies, make small talk with nurses who actually care. If I have to go through this cancer journey, at least it has been brightened by those wonderful nurses.

There is a nurse that works in the infusion center, I’m not sure what her actual title is but I call her a, hospitality nurse. She walks around with a smile and a bounce in her step and makes sure each and every patient in the infusion center is comfortable and has what they need. I recently saw her in Walmart and she was able to meet the kids. She talked them up the next time I saw her. She said they were the cutest things she’s ever seen, and I must agree. Well this angel nurse knows exactly what I want and doesn’t even have to ask. She see’s me and says, “I’ll get you a warm blanket.” She then usually proceeds to bring me at least 3 warm blankets, because I get dang cold during my infusion. I love that she remembers something small like that. It makes me feel special and cared for and sometimes, that makes all the difference.

Josh and I continue to receive gifts of money and gift cards in the mail. Some people may think, we, as a family have reached our limit. You may ask, why we are still needing these gestures after we have already received so much. Well, to address that, even if you are not wondering, the answer is simple. Yes, we could get by, by taking out additional student loans to pay for our expenses, but because of the kind-hearted, generous, caring people out there, we have been able to minimize the student loans we need and use the gifts we so graciously receive to pay for the things we need. Without the fundraisers or benefits, we as a family, would really be hurting. I can’t even tell you how appreciative we are for all of those giving angels out there, who provide for us, when we are unable to provide for ourselves. We have every intention to pay it forward when the chaos has subsided and we are in a better position to help provide for someone in need.

We recently received in the mail, a card containing some gifts for us in it. This card contained a $100 walmart gift card, a $50 gas card, and a gift card to pay for zoo membership, here in Sioux Falls. The most amazing thing about this gift is that it came with intentions of getting no thanks or recognition. The card was anonymously signed. To provide some peace of mind for gas and groceries, but then also add in something that we can do and enjoy as a family, meant more than I have words to explain.

Everyone out there sending gifts, holding fundraisers, praying for our family, we thank you! From the bottom of our hearts. We are so humbled, and thank God for sending so many different types of blessings in so many different ways, during this troubled time for us.

Back to the visit with my oncologist today, I was able to ask some of those pressing questions about what happens after chemo. I was given a couple different scenarios. I will need to be on some kind of hormone blocking medication for 10 years. But because I tested positive for the BRCA mutation, I have an increased risk of other hormone related cancers, like ovarian cancer. My oncologist explained that it is totally my decision, but being at this increased risk would mean that having my ovaries removed sooner than later (if were done having kids) would be a good option. This option comes with it’s own set of risks, as this surgery would me in a post menopausal state at the age of 30. I’m already experience hot flashes and weight gain, so I’m not sure if I’m ready to be in full blown menopause at such a young age. Regardless if I have the surgery to remove my ovaries I will still need to be on hormone blocking medication for 10 years, it just changes which medication they would decide to put me on. I will also have follow-ups with my doctor twice a year for blood tests, to check on the status of my breast cancer.

There are quite a few pretty serious conversations I will be having with Josh in the near future. Are we done having kids? Do I take the risks of being post menopausal to reduce my chances of getting ovarian cancer? I’m not sure what is in store for my family and I after chemo, but I do know, that because of the generous angels out there, we don’t have to worry about how we are going to financially provide for ourselves and our children.

For that, I will be FOREVER grateful.