Surviving Cancer

It’s been a while again since I have written anything. A whole month, actually. I haven’t had the motivation to write, or do much of anything for that matter. I have had a few set backs since I wrote last.

We have had two trips back to Becker in the last month, and as always, it’s so good to go home and see family. My family is always there to support me, but seeing them in person and feeling the support and love is a much better feeling. I continue to get care packages, gifts, and notes from people near and far. It simply amazes me how word can travel and how inspired people are to reach out and offer support. It is such good peace of mind knowing there are so many people out there praying for me.

On November 7th I had my first dose of my new medication, Taxol. Things seemed to be going really well, and I had very few side effects right away. Early the following week I started having all over body pain and by Wednesday, I had a fever. I ended up in the ER to make sure I didn’t have anything that needed to be treated. They didn’t find anything and assumed it was a viral thing. I was scheduled to have chemo the following day. All seemed fine and it appeared I would be able to get treatment based off of my blood work from just a few hours prior in the ER. Last minute my doctor ordered new blood work, and when the results came back, it showed that my blood counts had plummeted and ended up being too low for chemo. I left disappointed, but kind of expected it since I had just been in the ER.

Instead of receiving chemo that day, I ended up at a different part of the hospital to have a blood transfusion. My hemoglobin levels were very low and because this was due to chemo there was nothing I could do to get the levels up, so my only option was to get some new blood. The process took around 5 hours. I got to sit there and watch TV and order all the free room service I wanted. The food wasn’t the most delicious thing I have ever had, but it was free so I can’t complain. The blood transfusion did it’s job; gave me some color back and raised my hemoglobin levels immensely.

I returned the following week ready to get back on track with chemo. I felt good and the nurse said the color in my face looked good. When my blood work came back the nurse was shocked. She was not expecting them to be so low that I was ineligible for chemo again. My ANC or absolute neutrophil count was about a fifth of what it should be. So, I left again feeling disappointed and defeated because I was now two weeks behind. The chemo aspect of my journey was just getting longer, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I had an extra two weeks to get myself healthy and ready for another chemo treatment. I went in the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and luckily my numbers were chemo worthy. I had chemo and then we left right away when I was done to head home for Thanksgiving. Again, it was so good to be home and see all of our family.

Cancer still has a hold of me. What once was 12 weeks left of chemo is now 14 weeks, as long as there are no more set backs and my body holds up for all of them. I’m losing my eyebrows and eyelashes and the little bit of confidence I had left. I really try not to dwell on what cancer is still taking from me, but sometimes it gets into my thoughts and there is nothing I can do but be consumed by it for a little bit.

Aside from the the toll cancer is taking on me cosmetically and mentally, physically I feel pretty dang good the majority of the time. I have had very few physical side effects so far. I pray for good numbers and no more set backs so I can get this part of the journey over with.

Until then, I will keep fighting.