Surviving Cancer

After that long day of appointments, it was like we could finally breath again. We didn’t realize at the time, but we were all starving to death. None of us could eat that weekend before my big appointment. Our hunger started to hit us hard towards the end of my appointments. What else could we do but order 1/3 of a pound burgers, loaded with everything, of course, with french fries and onion rings on the side. When we finally got home, it was like a scene out of a Wild Africa show on Animal Planet. We were so ravenous. Kind of comedic looking back and thinking about the fact that I hardly even tasted my food!

After my appointments, it was time to wait, again! My surgeon and my plastic surgeon had to get their schedules to correlate so they could do my bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction with implants during the same surgery. A bilateral mastectomy was recommended by my medical team due yo my young age and my dense breast tissue. I’m not going to lie, I was leaning towards this option anyway. I wanted symmetry, yes, but what I wanted more than that was the smallest chance I would have for recurrence.

It was just a few days after my appointments that I got the call to tell me about scheduling for my surgery. According to my surgeon, the anticipated wait for this type of surgery was 4-6 weeks. So that time frame was what I was anticipating. I was completely caught off guard when the nurse said they scheduled my surgery for August 7th. That was just two weeks away! I was in complete shock, and oddly enough, felt excited and relieved. I was excited this process was going to get moving sooner than expected and that I would soon be rid of this cancer growing inside me.

Those two weeks still seemed long, in a way. Every time I felt a twinge of pain, or someone asked a question about my cancer, all I could think was, this cancer is still in me, growing, and spreading. Thankfully, I was wrong. My lymph nodes were clean and my margins were clear. Hallelujah!

My mom came down on the 6th, the night before my surgery, so she could watch the kids. I arrived early the next morning for my surgery, and things got moving pretty quickly. Although, at times, it still felt like we were hurrying up, to wait. Surgery started around 10:30 in the morning and I guess I’m not even sure how long my surgery was. The next week or so afterward is kind of a blur, from the anesthesia and pain medications I was on.

Recovery from surgery, honestly, wasn’t that bad. The worst part about having this surgery were the drains, which in turn meant, that I couldn’t shower, for 16 DAYS! I took “bottom half” baths, and my mom would give me hair baths in the kitchen sink (again, an absolute SAINT that woman is). After my mastectomy my plastic surgeon stitched in two drains on each side, underneath my armpit. I had tubing attached to grenade like bulbs to catch the fluid. Definitely the worst part of the entire surgery process. They were painful, and uncomfortable to say the least. I had to sleep on my back for the greater part of four weeks. Luckily, a friend of mine borrowed me this bed-like, contour wedge to sleep on. It really was a life saver. I was able to lay it right on the bed and it helped me get the necessary sleep I needed to recover.

The drains finally got to come out 16 days post operation. It was a GREAT day! I felt free. The rest of recovery consisted of, not wearing real bras (hooray for that), and not letting things bump or hit my chest. This was a task since I have a two year old, and an infant. Holding them will never be the same. I had to actually mourn not being able to hold my baby’s and feel their warmth, breathing, or tears on my chest. My chest still feels foreign. It still doesn’t quite feel normal, and I am sure it will be years before that happens.

For now, I am thankful my cancer was removed and my lymph nodes were clear. I am thankful for my husband and the Godly human that he is for taking me and all my baggage. I am thankful for my baby’s; my beautiful and perfect daughter and son. I am thankful for the health of my family and the health of my husbands family. I am thankful for a million more things, but I will save those for Thanksgiving!